What if I don’t have anything to say in therapy?
Updated: May 28
Repeat after me, “It is OK”
I often work with people in therapy that usually say they don’t know what to talk about or sometimes experience difficulties in trying to find the words to express themselves.
Let me make this clear to you. It is perfectly fine not to always have something to say! Secondly, there are other ways to use your counselling session without always feeling like you have to say something.
Below are 3 ways how you can still get the most out of your counselling session without adopting the traditional sense of sitting with your counsellor and ‘just talking’ Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that this does not work, but I am just showing you that there are other ways.
This is a big one that many clients struggle with. When I meet with a new client, I often explain to them that at times there may be points where we may sit in silence as this can be a good opportunity for them to process what they have shared and to sit with their thoughts without the interference from the therapist. However, if this is painfully excruciating for you, this could be useful material that can be explored with your counsellor.
As a side note, your counsellor should at least appear at ease with silence because that’s apart of counselling training. So watch out if s/he is constantly firing questions at you as it could mean s/he is the one with the issue around silence and not you.
2. Using art
This does not mean you need to be the next Banksy. Even simply doodling can be useful as it can take the pressure off trying to find something to say. A lot of the time I have worked with clients to discuss what their image means for them or what emotions were evoked during the process. Often it is like a free styling activity, where you let your imagination run wild.
3. Get writing
Like drawing, I encourage clients (if they want) to scribble down any words that comes to mind. This relates to ‘free association’ (I had to put in a bit of psychobabble in there), but from a written point of view. You would be surprised what things can come out of this activity.
Other ways this can help you
As I predominantly work with teachers and parents, these techniques are useful when dealing with children. From the 6 year old that might have limited vocabulary to truly express how they feel about a traumatic experience to your 14 year old daughter that is always telling you “you don’t understand!”
Hi, I am LaToya.
I am a relational therapist and counsellor, whereby I specialise in helping people improve their personal identity, their relationship with themselves and others, and enable individuals to feel more confident in communicating their needs.
I provide weekly counselling in London Bridge and Camberwell, alongside online counselling sessions.
Want to learn more about how I can help you? Book a FREE 15 minute consultation and together we can start to get your life and relationships back on track.
Disclaimer: This post is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for counselling and psychotherapy. If you require counselling sessions, please feel free to contact me for an appointment or search for a local therapist on either BACP, Psychology Today or Counselling Directory's website.